Toxic relationships. We’ve all heard of them and many, if not most of us, have had to deal with toxicity in some way. Whether it be a friendship, work environment, or a romantic relationship. However mild it may seem from an outside perspective or compared to more serious situations, being in a relationship like this is not healthy and you deserve better.
Sometimes, we put up with being treated unfairly or unkindly because we want to stay in a relationship. We want to feel connected and loved, even if it makes us feel insecure and causes us emotional pain. It’s scary to end or alter our connections with others because we don’t know what will happen next. A young woman recently described a difficult situation with a friend that had all the markings of a toxic relationship. What she wanted was to be this person’s friend but that friendship never seemed to be on equal terms. Instead of a consistent and reliable exchange of dialogue and ideas between the two, the other person was always the one to decide what they would do, who else could be there, and what was fun, interesting, or “ok” for the young woman to do.
What was missing was a mutual recognition of the value of each person in this relationship. Instead of seeing this outright, the young woman assumed she must have done something wrong that made her “friend” not want to spend time with her. She had lost sight of her own value and her right to not accept being treated this way.
We all want to be liked and sometimes will allow treatment that is less than fair. We may do this because it hurts to face the possibility that the person we love doesn’t feel the same way toward us. We might not want to lose that friend because we fear not finding someone else. Chances are that if we had a friend describe the same situation as it was happening to them, we would tell them to get out of that relationship. When it’s happening to us, what to do about it is not so cut and dry.
We are here to remind you that YOU DESERVE BETTER! A healthy relationship involves give and take from all involved. Disagreements and rough patches are to be expected and perfectly normal but if you seem to be doing all the giving while the other person is doing all the taking, something is not right.
It is hard to admit that you are not being treated well but allowing yourself to recognize that is incredibly important for your well-being. It might be scary and it will take planning and time but you can do it – remember that you have value. Your thoughts, feelings and wishes for yourself have value and are worthy of respect. Getting help to find the courage to remove yourself from a toxic relationship is a courageous act in itself. You can do it and S & J Wellness is here to help you navigate relationships, setting boundaries, and identifying what you deserve. Call us today for your free consultation. 815-782-2172